January 27th (a year ago – 2014)

It has been a year since I had to say goodbye my furry daughter, Boo. We spent almost 17 years together. How I wish that our time together was longer. You are always are part of me. We went through so much together. I miss you each and every day. Letting you go was the best that I could do for you in your condition with the cancer you had endured. What breaks my heart the most is that I know exactly what you were going through. Most pet parents don’t know that, my love. I endured cancer myself. You and Batman were my furry nurses during mine. You never cried out in pain but I know that you felt it. You continued to do your best to be there for me despite what you were going through.

I remember the day we went to go look for you at the Humane Society. It had been several weeks since cancer had claimed Cuddles. I was still living with my parents at the time. Their house was so empty without a furry child in it. It was a spring afternoon in March of 1997. We walked into the caged area where all the kittens were housed. I looked everywhere and just none of them seemed to be really interested in me. I became depressed a bit and I sat down. I saw my mother playing with a grey and black striped tabby that had white feet. Then I looked down and there you were, just this little ball of fluff. You had such wonderful coloring with the orange, black, and tan. Your big eyes just staring up at me as if saying, “I want you to be my momma”. I picked you up and I saw this upside down horseshoe shape under your chin. You starting purring. You head bopped my hand. It was love at first sight. I was almost 27 years old but I stood up, walked over to my parents holding you. I said in a kiddish voice, “Can I have this one?” My father said it was fine as long as I paid for your adoption fee. My mother wasn’t as thrilled about the idea of two cats in the house. However, she couldn’t resist seeing the two of us together.

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I adopted you on the spot. I gave you the name of Trooper Bear because you were black and tan. I was a State Trooper that drove a black and tan patrol car. My mother named the tabby, Chelsea. I remember that first night that I slept like a baby holding you in one hand and Chelsea in the other. You claimed my mother as your watcher while I was gone at work. However, once I was home, you came with me wherever I went. Chelsea was always the greeter at the door. You two would play together and run around. Such fun it was to watch the two of you play.

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We moved out in 2001 and it was just us until Batman came into our lives in 2010. We went through many changes throughout that time on our own. We became quite fond of our little routines. You were so adjusting to my changing shifts every four weeks while I was a State Trooper. You simply slept when I did. You were always my live teddy bear in bed. You never meowed that much but when you did, I had better listen. I always knew what you were thinking just by your looks. I so terribly miss your minky fur. I always would grab ahold of it as I fell asleep. You loved to have me hold you and you just purred me right to sleep.

I am so grateful that you adopted Batman as your little brother for the time that you two were together. You took good care of him while I was at work. I think he really needed that. He has stepped up this past year and does you proud by taking care of me. We both miss you so much. I could not have made it through some of the hard times in my life without your love, sweetheart. I am forever grateful for that unconditional love that we had.

I knew when you started getting really sick there at the end that I had to make the hardest decision in my life. I was present for when my Mom had to tell Chelsea goodbye in January of 2007. That was hard to watch her go through that. I was already prepared to make that decision if what I had suspected was true. I would not let you suffer. I still remember letting you fall asleep in my hand as I held your fur in the other. I am so thankful that I was the last thing that you saw. I wasn’t there when Cuddles or any other of my cats passed away. I was able to say goodbye. I had you cremated and you are on the shelf in my bedroom. Your favorite frog toy sits on your box. I pat your box when I go by. The house was not the same for those few days as I waited for your box to be done. Once you were home, I felt at peace.

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My 2014 in review

Well, a little later into 2015 than I wanted, but hey life happens. Sometimes faster than we want it those hours fly by and stuff still doesn’t get done. But you know what, roll with it, don’t be so rigid. It is what is and you can’t control everything. I started 2014 with a renewed zest for making me happy. 2013 wasn’t a very good year at all.

I went to testing in January at Daytona International Speedway and had a great time. Was the closest to getting Dale Earnhardt Jr’s autograph than I ever had before. If I had felt better, then I probably would have had the patience to wait for his latest practice run to be over with and he returned to the garage area. I got to park on the infield which was a thrill all in itself.

February, Dale Jr, won the Daytona 500 and that was awesome. He joined Twitter and so did I. I had no idea what that would end up bringing into my life. At first, I fumbled around with Twitter just mainly following anything Nascar. Then after having some more interactions and finding other people with similar interests. It has become a place for me to really express myself.

May, I went to Downtown Disney with my parents, I hadn’t been there since sometime in early 2013 before the break up. It was fun to share with them. It also was fun to make new memories where many had been made there with my ex. It is almost like erasing the haunting feeling of that place. Towards the end of summer, I began not feeling well again. It was a big kidney stone which required surgery to be removed.

The end of September beginning of October was the surgery for my kidney stone. I wasn’t concerned for the surgery because I have had many before. However, this one was different, there were some complications. Instead of overnight stay in the hospital, it was a three day stay. I needed a total of three blood transfusions. I ended up with a two week recovery time instead of the week. A simple surgery ended up in me being in recovery for over 10 hours. Thank God for my parents being retired. They were able to watch over me and help me during my recovery. That was the longest three days away from Batman. I had never been away from him more than two nights, ever. During that time, the Longmire Stampedes were still going on and I received a lot of love and support from the posse members.

Towards the end of the year, I really became into my own on Twitter as playing Batman. I have a real close net of other pet parents. We chat as our pets. We do adventures as our pets. It is a great way to talk with friends who have similar interests and see their humor and creativity. I have a real sense of belonging. Something that I have been lacking. I am not real good with real human contact in large groups. I am not a very trusting person for obvious reasons. You can only go through so much before you are snake bite. I look forward to our #catchats. I feel that I am on the right path as 2015 has begun. Take time for yourself because it is a healthy thing to do. Take time to take in the experience of life. Don’t just go around trudging through the routines. Do something spontaneous.